u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
