take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
my liver is dry heaving
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
