Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
