oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
