Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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(585): View more from New York

i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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(604): View more from British Columbia

i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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(802): View more from Vermont

My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

(516): View more from New York

is she hot?

(802): View more from Vermont

She is now

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(240): View more from Maryland

You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

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(207): View more from Maine

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode

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