They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
