you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
