I puked a lego.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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