This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
