We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
