I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
