I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize