come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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