oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
