Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
