I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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