you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
