Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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