What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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