omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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