can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
