I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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