ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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