oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
