It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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