We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize