Say something about gay babies.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
