i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
