I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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