so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
