i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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