Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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