Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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