i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
