just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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