the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize