I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
