margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize