My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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