Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
