She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
