It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize