I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
