one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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