we have officially lost it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize