Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize