I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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