Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
