I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
