you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
