porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
