I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
