Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
