Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
