Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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