I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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