Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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