And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
