i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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