I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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