What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I love having hate sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
wow bdsm is so cute
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