i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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