we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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