Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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