I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
