I need help removing her.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
