there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
