Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
