we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
