The maid of honor just puked.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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