This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My feet surprised me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
