Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize